How To Find The Right Woman/Man

Things You Need To Look For When Selecting A Woman/Man:

Intelligence: When I say Intelligence, I’m not talking about book learning. Degrees are important, but not necessary. You need a type of Intelligence which compliments your thinking, your common sense and your compatibility. This is important for the countless hours you must spend alone with that person. As important as this is intelligence is not a stand alone. In fact most times it’s never enough to sustain a relationship on it’s own. However, like-mindedness is essential. 4/9/07

Likeable: One of the first questions to ask yourself should be, "Do I like this person? Could we be friends? One of the things we often do right, is pick a good pal. In order to like someone you must have shared values. You can be totally opposite personalities, but when it comes to those things which really matters you must share a common likeness. How does the person feel about family, children, work, entertainment, friendship, attire and grooming. 4/10/07

Comfort: Ones comfort level is best recognized early in the relationship. These things usually show themselves in language, attitude, tone, touch, and general conversation. Is the language used sophisticated, slang, confusing, interesting, thought provoking, tense, free, controlled or contrived? Is the attitude confronting, challenging, pleasant or complimentary? Is the tone unsure, confident, rough, harsh, controlling or loving? Touch has to do with "handling". Is it gentle, caring, considerate, absent or hardly ever? Conversational compatibility is very simple. Is it easy, care free, or labored and contrived? The answers to these questions defines the comfort level of the relationship. 4/13/07

Trustworthiness: If you can’t trust the person why be with them? This is huge! This needs to be tested immediately. Do you feel uncomfortable when the person receives a phone call and refuse to answer in your presence? Does he/she become a suspect when he/she don’t call for a day or two? The question then becomes do you confront the issues or just let them build with hopes that they will correct themselves. The answer defines the future relationship. Trust must be established early. Uneasiness is a reason to exit. 4/11/07

Communication: If you don’t get this right, things could begin to break down. Is there a long pause between contact? Your next move is crucial and the question to ponder is "Is the relationship worth salvaging?" Should it matter who reopens the communication? Sometimes on first approach there is a hesitation. It could be fright, confusion, lack of readiness or just pure lack of interest. Time will answer these questions. Your willingness to share comes with real anticipation of a long lasting relationship. Once that barrier is broken sharing ones feelings, ideas and future becomes easier. 8/18/07

Longing: According to the "Oxford University Press Dictionary" this adjective is best described as "having or showing a yearning desire. Is it related to lust? Only in that it is a passionate desire for something. You must have an emotional investment in order to feel this want. One must be very careful not to confuse this passion with lust. It has nothing to do with sex. It has a great deal to do with communication (missed conversations), sharing (recognizing common goals), comfort (being at ease with another’s presence), trust (missed reliability), likeable ( absence of agreement and satisfaction), and intelligence (missed exchange of knowledge and skill). Finally, there very well could be a strong sexual connection, but it should not be the only or most important. To want is powerful! To desire is blissful! To have is eminent! 12/12/07

Sensuality: This is a characteristic quite often misunderstood.. It is void of moral, spiritual or intellectual interest. The total attraction has to do with ones gratification of the sensory appeal. Now for some this is important. Does the person look good, smell good, feel good, taste good ( like in good kisser), and sound good? The point is to know if these things are important. Just remember your senses can get all excited without any emotional investment. You can have a very sensual encounter with a "one night stand." 2/3/08

Sexuality: The Dictionary, by Merriam Webster defines sexuality as the following: "the quality or state of being sexual: a : the condition of having sex b : sexual activity c : expression of sexual receptivity or interest especially when excessive."  In other words, it is what it is. Therefore, you need to know what your partner’s desires are and most importantly you should have a clear understanding about your desires. This discussion needs to be open, sincere and honest. This interaction must be able to withstand the test of time and remain reliable, steady and dependable. Compatibility is essential. 2/8/08

Finances: Commonly known as "the money." Most seem to feel that it’s still the bottom line. Is it really? Then why is it those who have it seem to have just as many problems staying together as those without it. Can you really buy love? Does affection have a price tag? Is money the fix all or does it contribute to the problems? There isn’t any doubt that it’s important and necessary, but I doubt if it can turn a sour relationship to sweet. 3/25/08

Love: What’s love got to do with it? This should be the question on both parties lips, after they have defined the meaning for themselves. Love can hold many meanings and it would be safe to agree that it holds the same or similar meaning for both parties. I tend to believe that there are components of all of the above and the order of importance may shift with different personalities. What’s your number one priority? "I love you" is such a blank statement, but it can hold a lot of meaning when elements of the above are included. Finding a soul mate is a mission and should be taken seriously. This is the bottom line. 3/25/08

Copyright 2008